More On RAD Behavior

So now we have learned that because she lived her first four years in three different orphanages with multiple caregivers she did not learn to develop healthy attachments to people.  She did not have the consistency of having her needs met.  She could not trust others around her to take care of her.  She did not experience unconditional love and the security that as parents we provide so naturally.  We don't think about our baby's brain development when we are holding them close, stroking their cheek, gazing into their eyes, responding to their cries or constantly smiling at them.  These are natural reactions that are helping these babies trust, love and feel secure.  These seemingly insignificant actions are critical in the first three years of life.  Without this foundation, children will create their own survival techniques to feel safe.  They begin to see that they cannot depend or trust others around them to meet their needs.  They must protect themselves.  The love in their lives is either non existent or inconsistent.  To survive with any amount of security the become very selfish and demanding.  The learn to only trust themselves and refuse to relinquish control.  They learn love hurts.  Their brains are actually wired reflecting these survival mechanisms.  It no longer becomes a conscious choice between right and wrong.  There is no conscience.  It is survival.